Freedom to Fly

My husband has been teaching me how to fly.

Literally. Ok, we do use an airplane. It is a wildly liberating and exhilarating experience and somewhat terrifying as well. I’ve not taken any formal lessons as of yet and being a scientist by training, my level of comfort with the controls is proportional to the amount of understanding I have of how the plane works and of the concepts and theory behind aerodynamics. I’ve taken the requisite course for wives of private pilots: "Flying from the Left Seat" which provided a simple explanation of how planes work, an overview of the instrument panel and how to operate the radios.

The instructor, an experienced pilot stressed to us wives the somewhat hard to believe concept that once a plane is in flight it is meant to keep on flying as long as the conditions support thrust, lift and yawl! Aircraft don’t fall from the sky unless the power fails or there is some other uncontrolled event that overcomes either the plane’s equilibrium or the pilot’s ability to control the "controlled crash" also known as the landing.

I even learned how to contact the emergency frequency (121.5) and land the plane using lipstick (in every pilot’s wife’s purse) to draw a line on the windshield that will serve as a lineup with the horizon. What to do if we forget our lipstick? Use our husband’s shaving cream? All of this is to say that my comfort level with my actual flying abilities is very low. Try non-existent. But I’m game and so we take off!

In my most recent lesson Jimmy taught me how to do turns. Unlike being in a car where you simply turn and the car goes where you want it to – assuming you’ve adjusted your speed accordingly, being in space adds a whole new dimension to a turn. You (the pilot) must maintain airspeed, altitude and angle of bank, thereby eliminating the risk of going into a stall or putting the plane into a spin and potentially losing control of it.

To control the plane you have the yoke to simultaneously control the turn and altitude. This works with the rudder that turns the tail end of the plane to be in concert with the rest of it and the throttle which controls the power and the carburetor heat which does God knows what! To keep you aware of how you’re doing you watch the instrument panel with all of its gauges – the artificial horizon and the altimeter and the rudder bubble thingy and the airspeed indicator, to name a few.

Meanwhile the radio is squawking and the engine is roaring and you’re on your side in the plane trying to fly while keeping the apple you just ate (because you thought it’d be a good idea to have one last meal before you got into the plane – one never knows) in your stomach!

And then you come to the 180 or 360 point and you level off and all is well again.

And so we practiced turns and slow flight and simulated landings at 2500 feet and climbs and straight flight on a gorgeous day over the beautiful blue Atlantic.

Upon reflecting on this afternoon I remembered something I heard from a book on tape called Communion with God, by Neal Donald Walsch. In it Neal talks about love being freedom, generating freedom; freedom to be all of who we are. I can truly see this as the freedom to fly, to soar to be fully expressed as the marvelous being each of us has been created as.

How is this like my flying lessons?
I realized that Jimmy has given me the gift of flight – the plane is only an earthly symbol of the many ways he has done this. I recently asked him about how long he was willing to bear the brunt of our finances while I pursue building my business and coaching practice. He replied, "Until you’re successful! Or until you decide that you want to move on – Or until I get laid off!" What freedom he has granted me – to fly, supported, held up and buoyed by his faith in me. He has given me a permission to be all that I am through his unconditional love. This is true freedom, true flight. Through his love for me he has given me the gift of space in which I can soar and free my soul to be fully expressed in my work, my life’s ministry. Indeed he is teaching me how to fly!

Like flying a plane, this freedom can be overwhelming. Gone are the linear bounds that keep me tied to excuses. This freedom is about living in a multi-dimensioned universe – with my feet on the ground and all opportunities to create open and available. I have checks and balances in this place of soaring to keep me from going into a spin or a stall. My relationships, love and self-care practices are the winds that uplift me. My airspeed is maintained by my actions - they create the thrust and momentum that keeps me moving forward. Gratitude and detachment maintain my altitude – gratitude for what is and detachment from the things that tie me to self and the bounds of earthly existence.

Flying as a metaphor for full self-expression, freedom and possibility, life and the gift of unconditional love. Receiving life, receiving love. Lessons learned in Cessna 172 at 2500 feet from a man who has chosen to be with me, and I with him. My prayer is that I grant him the same freedom through love that is as unconditional as is his. May I set him free to soar in all parts of his life as he has me.

My husband is teaching me how to fly. Literally. And we’re not using a plane!

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