Issue No. 5

Dedicated to helping you learn how to enhance your life by honoring your soul and spirit while living day to day.

Article

Falling in Love with Your Self

I write this on Valentine’s Day in my cozy office while the first true Nor’easter is roaring outside.  I live adjacent to a beach and can see the water (just barely) from my office window. The angry white-capped bay seems on the verge of flooding the shore road; the wind is whipping salty sleet against my windows.  Plasterers are banging and drilling downstairs as they install sheet rock over our newly wired and insulated kitchen walls.  My house is filled with fine white powdery dust.  It is everywhere, covering everything on three floors including the black cat.  The fridge is in the dining room, the dishwasher on the back porch, the stove dead in the middle of the kitchen, the sink long gone.  The living room is filled with boxes of kitchen contents. Jasper, my dear dog, asleep on the new leather couch, is disoriented because his safe haven, the kitchen, is off limits.  Jim, my husband, is holed up in his den to escape the bedlam and chaos, trying to eat a dust free breakfast and dealing with work issues. I am sitting here writing - contented, peace-filled and in joy.

I’ve actually surprised my self in how well I’m dealing with all the current circumstances of my life.  I’ve been experiencing an opening, deep calm that exists way down within me as if it lives in a place that extends and expands well beyond my physical being; as in fact it does.   This is the place of my eternal source, of my essence, my soul, that connects me to the great Totality, Divine, to God.  My experience of this peace blesses me in each present moment.  It is a gift of grace earned through a long, often challenging and sometimes very painful road of deep inner work.

Essentially, I have fallen in love with my self at this fundamental level of my essence. I’ve come to recognize and love the various parts of myself - the big Self and the little self, the judging parts, the generous parts, my aging, delightful body with its sags, gaps and multiplying grey hairs; my sometimes intense, off the wall kid-self; the practical, adult woman - and so many more.  I have come to know and appreciate these many facets of my personality as my soul expresses itself through them.  This journey continues to enrich my life daily, gratefully, with more waiting to be revealed.

At times I don’t like what I see and it takes a while for me to be with it in a way that brings harmony.  When I fight what is, I feel stress.  When I let what is be present and am present to it, using my spiritual muscle as the observing witness, the feelings, sensations and thoughts, come and go like waves on a beach.  I’m learning that I can choose to be an open channel to my experience not a spider’s web that catches every bit of hurt, negativity and angst, wraps it up and feeds on it for hours, days or the rest of my life.

But, before you think I have this life and self–love thing down pat or that I’m in nirvana all the time, know that I don’t and I’m not!  I am simply a student of the lessons that each day brings. Some days are rough, very rough and I do my best to be present to the turmoil.  Other days, like today, I am centered, grounded and peaceful in the midst of the chaos.  All of this is part of the experience of being fully human, alive and in the flow.

When we fall in love with all of who we are, we get to love ourselves through all the storms of our lives.  By practicing presence we witness these storms as apart from our true essence.  We are no longer defined by life’s trials and tribulations, other people’s opinions and actions, our fears, old beliefs, ego. We can choose to be fully in our experience, painful or pleasurable while knowing and experiencing the value of our true essence.  We can choose to trust that this essence is guiding and urging us on to full expression and take the risk to follow it. We can choose to extend this love, trust and presence to others and create opportunities for transformation by our actions, thoughts and prayers.  Bit by bit, our world becomes a healthier place with each choice we make for love.

This is why I do what I do.  This life affirming profession I’ve chosen goes way beyond making a living. It is my passion, calling and soul’s purpose.  It is a deep honor and privilege to sit with another human being, to hold the space for that person to be exactly where they are; to accept them fully, lovingly and without judgment.  It is a true joy to watch as their awareness and experience of who they are at their essence deepens, emerges and blossoms.  My work is a sacred calling to be a tool, a catalyst that creates the opportunity for a human being to fall in love with him or her self, to access his or her deepest essence, to find peace, fulfillment and connection to the Divine and to one another.

This experience and capacity is available to each of us, in our day to day lives regardless of what our chosen professions are.  It is a choice we make over and over, sometimes moment by moment.  Each time we decide to love what is in each moment of our experience, we release more loving energy into the world; we fall a little more in love with ourselves, with the great Totality.  We heal and grow in understanding and effectiveness.

Are you willing to fall in love with your self?  This is the journey of your lifetime.  It takes a courageous heart and deep listening to the soul. Like all journeys it starts with a single step.  When will you take yours?

Here are some tips and inspiration to help you fall in love with your self.

1. Look for the love in every storm and every calm.
2. Meditate.
3. Increase your awareness of being in your body through breathing, yoga or other physical practices.
4. Imagine you are your own child and treat yourself with the love that kid deserves!
5. Be courageously self reflective trusting that the gold that lies within you is being revealed.
6. Practice, practice, practice.

I wish you the fulfilling joy of falling in love with you!  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Special Announcement!

I am humbled and delighted to announce that I have been given the gift of partnership!  JR Miller and I are creating a joint venture between SoulWorks Coaching® and JR’s company, Tetra.Teams, LLC.  We are working with people who are ready to create something bigger than themselves and experience the essential value, fresh perspectives, innovative strategies and space for exploration our team coaching methodology provides. We work with innovative thinkers in the health care industry and coaches who want to take the value of their business to a whole new level.  Our webpage is under development so stay tuned to learn more about the grounded support, authentic communication and deep inquiry that are yours when you work with us.

Readers Respond!

"I like your article. 

"In martial arts when a black belt bows to others they wrap their left hand over their right fist, holding firm.  This signifies the mind (left) and the body (right) being one.  Leading up to the black belt level the left hand is held open and the right fist (knuckles) are placed against the palm of the left hand –showing the connection of mind and body. 

"I like to think that I have achieved the mind and body being one, so I have a new way of bowing where the right hand is a fist and the left hand is cupped and hovers over the right hand and eases it down, without hand touching hand.  This signifies the mind over the body (like the spiritual muscle).

"The reflex reaction that I’ve been conditioned for by martial arts training in my teens has stayed with me all these years.  I am now refining my practice of the art and a new reflex is being conditioned.  My muscles are in good shape – strong and limber at the same time.  I’ve achieved an internal strength where I can drive myself without the external motivator of a class or instructor pushing me."  

- Phil Morimoto
President/CEO,
Executive Search Associates
www.execsearchusa.com

Thanks, Phil!

What is the song your soul wants to sing?...

Listen to the voice of your soul...

New Offering:

TeleSoul Coaching Groups! SoulWorks Coaching is now offering group coaching over the phone for groups of  3 to 4 people.  The intimate group setting affords participants the opportunity to benefit from shared experiences, insights and inquiry as well as individual bimonthly private sessions. Call or email Monique for details!

Upcoming Events

Sunday Night Serenity Sessions
Every Sunday
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Life and Spirit Coaching Group! FULL!

Stay tuned for the next group start date! 5 sessions, every other week

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Create a Soul-Filled Vision for Your Life - details

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"Soul Full" Moment Mini Meditation

Stop.

Take five deep breaths, breathing slowly into your belly and releasing.

Listen.

What are you sensing in your body?
How are you feeling emotionally?
What is your mind thinking?

Acknowledge the peace that lives in your depths.
Allow yourself to sink into it.
Breathe it in.
Languish in it.
You are love at your essence.
You have discovered your self.

Now, take five deep breaths, breathing slowly into your belly and releasing.
Go on with your day.

Be with your self where you are because that’s where you are!